I took the Facebook quiz "Which Austen heroine are you?" and my result was Anne Elliot. Having never read the book (and I am determined to read them all!), I was anxious to check out Persuasion. Turns out Facebook thinks I'm a constantly put-upon, snobby-relatived, soon-to-be old maid. But I'll take it if it means Facebook thinks I should one day have an overly-dramatic, searching-lipped kiss with Rupert Penry-Jones.
Speaking of Penry-Jones, let's take a moment to get inside some of my thoughts while I watched Persuasion:
"Hey, it's that guy from MI-5 who's going to be on The 39 Steps!"
"Hey, it's the Borg Queen from Star Trek!"
"Hey, it's Brutus from Rome!"
"Hey, it's Giles from Buffy!"
"Hey, did Anne Elliot just look at me?"
Yes, after my double-take, I realized that indeed Sally Hawkins does look at the camera a few times. And I have to say the looks worked for me. They said, "Yep, this is my life." Except for the last look with the smile. That one said, "I got me some Wentworth."
Just like Northanger Abbey, this is another 90 minute Cliff Notes-like Jane Austen. And I was disappointed by the lack of balls and fancy parties. There was one but it was offscreen because Anne stayed home from it in order to watch over her nephew. You see, Anne is one of those "I'll do it. No, really. I want to do it" women. Her snooty father told her that Captain Wentworth (Penry-Jones) wasn't good enough for the family so she said, "OK. I'll turn him down." So now she's written off as too old and will most likely never marry. Now she's just Dependable Ole Anne.
But then Captain Wentworth comes back into her life. And an hour and twenty minutes later, Anne is running all over Bath looking for him. After a few, "You just missed him!" and "He went looking for you!" she finds him in what has to be my favorite shot: Anne, out of breath but giddy with just Wentworth's shoulder in frame. Then the heavy handed kiss. My least favorite shot.
Oh, and one more for the Austen Drinking Game: take a swig whenever the heroine makes the assumption that her true love is marrying or has married someone else only to be corrected with a "you are mistaken I was speaking of (fill in blank)."
What did I learn from Persuasion? When life treats you unfairly, do a take to the camera...even if one isn't there. And if there's a ball, tell your sister to watch her own kid. Go!
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Masterpiece Classic: Northanger Abbey
I assure you that this blog isn't just "Obsessed with Masterpiece Theatre" but the Olympics have diverted my attention a wee bit. A lot bit. Now if only Jane Austen would snowboard the halfpipe...
That's right! More Austen on Classic. This time it's an encore presentation of Northanger Abbey... condensed, I'm assuming. My experience tells me that Austen doesn't quite fit into 90 minutes.
This time the heroine is Catherine Moreland who reads and is enthralled by gothic novels by the likes of Ann Radcliffe (who I am now claiming as one of my ancestors. Just because). Catherine joins some wealthy family friends, the Allens, to Bath. She meets Henry Tilney at a ball (Austen ball: Take a drink!) and of course, is intrigued. She makes friends with Isabella Thorpe who's brother is mates with her brother at school. Isabella is played by a pre-Oscar nomination, and even pre-Doctor Who Sally Sparrow, Carey Mulligan. The viewer is immediately suspicious of Isabella when she meets Catherine and says something like, "Oh, I've heard a lot about you. We are going to be very good friends, I'm sure." Ulterior motive!!!
Isabella takes her to the Pump Room which I've seen on various travel shows about Bath. According to Rick Steves and Samanth Brown, the Pump Room serves water from the baths that people thought would cure all ills. And according to Rick's and Samantha's faces, it's quite minerally.
Where does Northanger Abbey come in? Well, it happens to be the home of Henry Tilney and family. General Tilney, the dad, invites Catherine to stay there with them after John Thorpe (Izzy's bro) tells him that Catherine is as good as the heir to the Allen fortune. Hello again, Ulterior Motive. Yes, John is wooing Catherine in a bullying way to get at her "fortune" just as Isabella got herself engaged to Catherine's brother for the same reason. But that fortune thing is quite a leap if you ask me. She's the Allen's guest for a holiday. I've vacationed with friends before. Doesn't mean I'm bumped up to number one in their will.
So Catherine goes to Northanger Abbey to hang out with nice Henry and his equally nice sister, Eleanor. (They have a brother, Captain Tilney, who apparently inherited the asshole gene from the General. He stayed back in Bath to de-flower Isabella. She sits up in bed and says, "So we are engaged?" He says something along the lines of "Get dressed." He's a charmer.) Since Catherine is so gothic novel happy, she thinks the General had something to do with his wife's death. Henry gets angry with her and tells her she reads too much and it has made her imagination go wild. Poor Henry would never let Catherine see any movies today. Keep her away from CSI.
While Henry is away, the General kicks Catherine out. Not because she thought the cold bastard murdered his wife but because she really isn't rich. And just to live up to his jerkness, he makes her take public transportation!
Henry goes to Catherine and begs his forgiveness for his father's actions and basically says, "I'm disowned. Will you marry me?" And she's like, "Yes!" And there's a scene of their wedding and General Tilney lurking is the churchyard from afar...
What did I learn from Northanger Abbey? Make assumptions and act on them. Reading Lord Byron will make you think everyone was murdered. And in that same vein, not all assholes are murderers.
That's right! More Austen on Classic. This time it's an encore presentation of Northanger Abbey... condensed, I'm assuming. My experience tells me that Austen doesn't quite fit into 90 minutes.
This time the heroine is Catherine Moreland who reads and is enthralled by gothic novels by the likes of Ann Radcliffe (who I am now claiming as one of my ancestors. Just because). Catherine joins some wealthy family friends, the Allens, to Bath. She meets Henry Tilney at a ball (Austen ball: Take a drink!) and of course, is intrigued. She makes friends with Isabella Thorpe who's brother is mates with her brother at school. Isabella is played by a pre-Oscar nomination, and even pre-Doctor Who Sally Sparrow, Carey Mulligan. The viewer is immediately suspicious of Isabella when she meets Catherine and says something like, "Oh, I've heard a lot about you. We are going to be very good friends, I'm sure." Ulterior motive!!!
Isabella takes her to the Pump Room which I've seen on various travel shows about Bath. According to Rick Steves and Samanth Brown, the Pump Room serves water from the baths that people thought would cure all ills. And according to Rick's and Samantha's faces, it's quite minerally.
Where does Northanger Abbey come in? Well, it happens to be the home of Henry Tilney and family. General Tilney, the dad, invites Catherine to stay there with them after John Thorpe (Izzy's bro) tells him that Catherine is as good as the heir to the Allen fortune. Hello again, Ulterior Motive. Yes, John is wooing Catherine in a bullying way to get at her "fortune" just as Isabella got herself engaged to Catherine's brother for the same reason. But that fortune thing is quite a leap if you ask me. She's the Allen's guest for a holiday. I've vacationed with friends before. Doesn't mean I'm bumped up to number one in their will.
So Catherine goes to Northanger Abbey to hang out with nice Henry and his equally nice sister, Eleanor. (They have a brother, Captain Tilney, who apparently inherited the asshole gene from the General. He stayed back in Bath to de-flower Isabella. She sits up in bed and says, "So we are engaged?" He says something along the lines of "Get dressed." He's a charmer.) Since Catherine is so gothic novel happy, she thinks the General had something to do with his wife's death. Henry gets angry with her and tells her she reads too much and it has made her imagination go wild. Poor Henry would never let Catherine see any movies today. Keep her away from CSI.
While Henry is away, the General kicks Catherine out. Not because she thought the cold bastard murdered his wife but because she really isn't rich. And just to live up to his jerkness, he makes her take public transportation!
Henry goes to Catherine and begs his forgiveness for his father's actions and basically says, "I'm disowned. Will you marry me?" And she's like, "Yes!" And there's a scene of their wedding and General Tilney lurking is the churchyard from afar...
What did I learn from Northanger Abbey? Make assumptions and act on them. Reading Lord Byron will make you think everyone was murdered. And in that same vein, not all assholes are murderers.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Masterpiece Classic: Emma, Part Three
Is it wrong that I now want a sequel? Preferably called "Knightley"?
The final installment of Emma this past Sunday had the "Badly done, Emma" scene. This is where Emma and Frank Churchill are being obnoxious at a picnic and Emma zings Miss Bates. Basically, saying she's boring and tedious. To Emma's credit, she realizes that it was an assy thing to say but doesn't apologize right away. Knightley catches up with her later to say "badly done." (I realize it doesn't seem harsh in print. But that's Austen for "Bitch, keep that snobby shit to yourself.") The funny thing about that conversation is Emma says to Knightley (paraphrasing), "Come on, man, you have to admit she's ridiculous." To which he replies, "Yeah, but don't say it. She's poor. If she were rich then have at it. But she's not. So shut it." Kind of makes me love Knightley more. He's kind but not a saint. There's some edge there.
Let's take a moment to give mad props to Tamsin Greig who played Miss Bates. The first time I saw her was on the britcom Black Books. Wouldn't think she would be a believable blithering old maid. And according to imdb, she will be Mrs. Frank in the Diary of Anne Frank coming up on...Masterpiece Classic. I'll be watching the hell out of that.
Back to the conclusion of Emma. Emma has her "Wait. I love Josh!" moment. (Had to throw in a Clueless reference.) Then Knightley comes to profess his love but she thinks he loves Harriet Smith. So they have a brief "Don't speak!" "As you wish" conversation. (Quick! Name those movie references.) Finally, they kiss. Scene dissolves. Next scene: Emma runs in crying to Knightley, "I love you but I can't marry you! I can't leave father all alone." Damn you, Gambon! But Knightley, being Knightley, said, "I've been thinking about that. I'll live with you guys." And then mentions walking back to his place for his "constitution" i.e. he's keeping his Man Cave. He also says he'll live with them for as long as necessary. As in, 'til Gambon is out of the way and in the ground.
Quick wrap up: Emma and Knightley. Harriet went back to Robert Martin. Frank Churchill was secretly engaged to Jane Fairfax the whole time and his aunt finally died so they were free to marry. And Michael Gambon fretted about Emma going away on her honeymoon.
What did I learn from Emma Part Three? Only insult your equals. And men just have to wait for a death and then they can do as they please.
The final installment of Emma this past Sunday had the "Badly done, Emma" scene. This is where Emma and Frank Churchill are being obnoxious at a picnic and Emma zings Miss Bates. Basically, saying she's boring and tedious. To Emma's credit, she realizes that it was an assy thing to say but doesn't apologize right away. Knightley catches up with her later to say "badly done." (I realize it doesn't seem harsh in print. But that's Austen for "Bitch, keep that snobby shit to yourself.") The funny thing about that conversation is Emma says to Knightley (paraphrasing), "Come on, man, you have to admit she's ridiculous." To which he replies, "Yeah, but don't say it. She's poor. If she were rich then have at it. But she's not. So shut it." Kind of makes me love Knightley more. He's kind but not a saint. There's some edge there.
Let's take a moment to give mad props to Tamsin Greig who played Miss Bates. The first time I saw her was on the britcom Black Books. Wouldn't think she would be a believable blithering old maid. And according to imdb, she will be Mrs. Frank in the Diary of Anne Frank coming up on...Masterpiece Classic. I'll be watching the hell out of that.
Back to the conclusion of Emma. Emma has her "Wait. I love Josh!" moment. (Had to throw in a Clueless reference.) Then Knightley comes to profess his love but she thinks he loves Harriet Smith. So they have a brief "Don't speak!" "As you wish" conversation. (Quick! Name those movie references.) Finally, they kiss. Scene dissolves. Next scene: Emma runs in crying to Knightley, "I love you but I can't marry you! I can't leave father all alone." Damn you, Gambon! But Knightley, being Knightley, said, "I've been thinking about that. I'll live with you guys." And then mentions walking back to his place for his "constitution" i.e. he's keeping his Man Cave. He also says he'll live with them for as long as necessary. As in, 'til Gambon is out of the way and in the ground.
Quick wrap up: Emma and Knightley. Harriet went back to Robert Martin. Frank Churchill was secretly engaged to Jane Fairfax the whole time and his aunt finally died so they were free to marry. And Michael Gambon fretted about Emma going away on her honeymoon.
What did I learn from Emma Part Three? Only insult your equals. And men just have to wait for a death and then they can do as they please.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Masterpiece Classic: Emma, Part Two
Part Two features an Austeny Ball!
You know it's Jane Austen when some female character says, "Oh, you must have a ball! I won't hear otherwise." Cut to: carriages pulling up and ladies being escorted out. And then, dancing. But not Freestyle. Very polite and structured line dancing. Men on one side. Women on the other. And at some point, the two lines will form a Bridge of Arms and the main couple will skip through it. And I eat it up.
So Part Two's Ball was basically due to Frank Churchill saying, "Yeah, this place is great but not enough dancing." And Emma says, "Yeah." Paraphrasing, of course. But then Frank leaves because his aunt is ill. He tells Emma goodbye and leaves her wondering if he loves her. And more importantly, she wonders if she loves him. No! (Sorry that was my Knightley love coming out.) Frank does come back and they plan the ball. But Mrs. Elton behaves like it's for her. Yeah, you read that right: Mrs. Elton. Didn't take vicar long to get over Emma.
Mrs. Elton is played by a particular favorite bitch of mine: Christina Cole. I'm sure she's actually really nice but she plays a great bitch. Last saw her in Lost in Austen which told the story of a modern woman who steps into Pride and Prejudice through a door in her loo. Cole played Bingley's sister. You know, the bitch? And Cole was also in a movie that I have no business of having seen more than once but, alas, I have: What a Girl Wants. Amanda Bynes goes to London to see her father, Colin Firth. Cole is his soon-to-be step daughter. A bitch. And according to IMDB, she's in a slasher flick with Stan Shunpike from Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban and Mickey from Doctor Who. From the trailer it looks like she becomes a cannibal. And I will bet ten dollars that she's called a bitch at some point in the movie.
Back to the ball. Knightley asks Harriet to dance when no one would. Then he and Emma dance. Internally, I was clapping and saying, "They loooooooooooove each other." Later on, they show Knightley looking wistful so the director throws in a quick scene of Emma to show that he's moony over her. Duh. He looooooooooooves her.
Oh, and only two Michael Gambon sightings. The man must have finally demanded rest.
What did I learn from Emma, Part Two? If you are romantically rejected, immediately marry someone from another town. Find a niche and stick with it. And force people to host balls.
You know it's Jane Austen when some female character says, "Oh, you must have a ball! I won't hear otherwise." Cut to: carriages pulling up and ladies being escorted out. And then, dancing. But not Freestyle. Very polite and structured line dancing. Men on one side. Women on the other. And at some point, the two lines will form a Bridge of Arms and the main couple will skip through it. And I eat it up.
So Part Two's Ball was basically due to Frank Churchill saying, "Yeah, this place is great but not enough dancing." And Emma says, "Yeah." Paraphrasing, of course. But then Frank leaves because his aunt is ill. He tells Emma goodbye and leaves her wondering if he loves her. And more importantly, she wonders if she loves him. No! (Sorry that was my Knightley love coming out.) Frank does come back and they plan the ball. But Mrs. Elton behaves like it's for her. Yeah, you read that right: Mrs. Elton. Didn't take vicar long to get over Emma.
Mrs. Elton is played by a particular favorite bitch of mine: Christina Cole. I'm sure she's actually really nice but she plays a great bitch. Last saw her in Lost in Austen which told the story of a modern woman who steps into Pride and Prejudice through a door in her loo. Cole played Bingley's sister. You know, the bitch? And Cole was also in a movie that I have no business of having seen more than once but, alas, I have: What a Girl Wants. Amanda Bynes goes to London to see her father, Colin Firth. Cole is his soon-to-be step daughter. A bitch. And according to IMDB, she's in a slasher flick with Stan Shunpike from Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban and Mickey from Doctor Who. From the trailer it looks like she becomes a cannibal. And I will bet ten dollars that she's called a bitch at some point in the movie.
Back to the ball. Knightley asks Harriet to dance when no one would. Then he and Emma dance. Internally, I was clapping and saying, "They loooooooooooove each other." Later on, they show Knightley looking wistful so the director throws in a quick scene of Emma to show that he's moony over her. Duh. He looooooooooooves her.
Oh, and only two Michael Gambon sightings. The man must have finally demanded rest.
What did I learn from Emma, Part Two? If you are romantically rejected, immediately marry someone from another town. Find a niche and stick with it. And force people to host balls.
Great Performances: Passing Strange
Why I cried at the end of Spike Lee's film version of the stage show Passing Strange on Great Performances:
- Stew the book writer, lyricist, and co-composer says as the narrator towards the end of the show, "Whatever you do: rock on."
- Heidi Rodewald, Stew's musical collaborator, plays bass in the band.
- The pit musicians are actually in cut outs in the stage and they interact at times with the actors.
- There are six actors, besides Stew, with four playing multiply roles with different dialects. And they all sing the hell out of the show.
- The quick peek backstage during intermission.
- The Real. And the "Right when it was getting real" devastation.
- Art, family, music, world.
- The extended curtain call and the hardcore, passionate singing and dancing.
- "Love is more than Real."
- The creators, actors and musicians so obviously love this show and being a part of it. And how that feeling and energy came through the TV. And made me cry.
What did I learn from Passing Strange? Family can be taken for granted and many realize too late. The Real may not be what you think it is. Art heals. I love theatre but I already knew that. "Yeah, it's all right."
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